aproclivity

Gods, why are the birds going so crazy tonight? It's insane. I really wanna go to bed, I wish I could sleep. Sometimes I think there are mirrored people in my life, and they keep like acting in equal and opposite ways. I dunno how to explain it. I dunno like...I hate this month. May just always sucks for me. I really don't wanna go home. I don't want to stay. I dunno. I say that so often, and I know people get frustrated with me over it. I get frustrated with me over it. I just wish I could feel something other then this crushing...vagueness.

So, here's the scoop with stuff. There's something wrong with me. I know I say that kinda often, cause I'm a wicked hypochondriac, and loads of the time it's nothing and I never do anything about it, but I am now. For a while, a long while it seems...I have moments were I can't find my words. Like they should be there and they're just not. Stupid things, little things I know. There, their, they're, to, too, two; things like that. Words that are close in my brain. It's getting worse now, alot worse. I'm also constantly tired and when I'm not on eighty bazillion energy drinks, all I wanna do is sleep constantly. And by sleeping constantly I mean that the nine hours I slept are not enough. All I wanna do is go back to sleep right now, and I know I could if I don't make myself get up and take a shower and shit.

I'm also having weird twitches and trembling that's been going on for awhile too. Like, I'll just drop stuff from my fingers, or I'll twitch. Last night I dropped my computer. It was very nearly a disaster, and I totally would have shot myself in the face. A lot of the time when I wake up in the morning it takes me a few moments to get my fingers to work and shit. And the weirdest thing of all is that my vision turned blue for a moment, like someone stuffed a blue lens inside my glasses.

I've known there was something wrong forever, but yeah...sucks. And googling everything is so the worst thing in the world for me too do. Someone stop me from doing that. So yeah. Going to go shower and then drop Shakespeare. I don't wanna do it, but I got a C and a F and there's only this paper and a quiz and I don't want to kill my GPA for the second time. Today is the last day for it, so yeah. Anyway, going to shower now. I have an appointment on Friday at noon with the Doctor, it was the earliest she had. I wish she had one today. Damn it.

So, things I fail at today? Napping. I got woken up early and then couldn't go back to sleep. Then I did brunch and like came back to work on my paper which gave me a headache which made me wanna nap but I couldn't get to sleep and now I'm going to go and see my TA about my crappy writing assignment to see if it like fufills what the professor wants it too. So now, vicodin, TA, then coming back and writing my paper before the last minute.